I thought I better complete this entry from 2020 that I started....
I want to make clear from the outset that I think people should wear face coverings if they can reasonably do so in their bit to tackle Covid-19.
I am extremely aware that if we don't all pull together, we can't get our lives and society back to some state of normality.
That said, for some people, wearing a face-covering can be significantly distressing.
And this is me. I went shopping yesterday and today I have a migraine. I feel rough. It is the stress of yesterday that has come out. I am so used to migraines that I do find an ability to get on with it unless my vision goes, hence my ability to write this now. I'll probably pay for it later... But anyhow...
I find the masks very difficult to handle. It is not because I am bothered so much about how I look but its the sensory issues that they cause.
I will go through in turn the different sensory issues:
Taste:
This one doesn't apply to me!
Touch:
The mask or face-covering obvuiously touches one's face. I find this difficult because the sensation is very overwhelming and smoothering. It covers most of my face and I can feel claustrophic by the fabric. I also wear glasses so having the elastic around the ears in addition to my glasses feels too much. I am sure we all dislike heat from the masks too and that can add to the claustrophic sensations.
Sight:
As I wear glasses, I aleady have to spend a lot of mental energy trying to look beyond the frames of my glasses I see around the edges of my vision. I am used to it but it is something I have had to develop a tolerance to over the last 20+ years. I find the additional visional information of the top of a mask really difficult and it further makes me feel smoothered. Add in the problem of glasses fogging up, its rather disorientating.
Hearing:
I can't well explain it but I feel like my hearing is impaired by the mask wearing. I am finding it harder to communicate with people even though my ears are not covered. I don't think it is as simple as the other person's voice being muffled by their mask. I am theorising that my brain is trying to commodate the sensory overload by turning off some senses and hearing is my causalty.
Smell:
I am not sure about this one. Reduction in smelling is not providing to be a problem. It's just important that the mask is clean so it doesn't get smelly and fabric softener used is not too overwhelming.
The sense of space (Proprioception):
I am definitely feeling clumiser in the way I move around and not sure where I am in relation to other objects. I cannot comphrend how anyone can drive a car with a mask on as it makes me feel like I might drive into something!
The vestibular system (balance):
I feel a bit out of balance because I feel my vision is compromised as well as my sense of touch. Its a surreal feeling as I regain my sense of balance (it isn't great usually!) upon removing my mask. It is weird to say that wearing a mask makes me feel a bit dizzy.
Internal feelings (Interoception):
The sensory overload situation caused by wearing a mask makes me much more hyper sensitive. It means that I am much more intolerant to my internal system, i.e. feeling hungry, needing the toilet, pain, etc and being unable to immediately tend to those bodily needs will make me a seriously grumpy person. It trigggers a strong desire to run away and deal with my internal needs to want to right myself and get back to a calmer more peaceful state.
Conclusions
What do I do?
Masks upset me. A lot. I try my best to not go out when my tolerances are low as I am then not in a good place to tolerate a mask at all. I have to keep my shopping trips short and that is annoying as I can't buy what I need in one hit.
But I am very aware of the need to not spread the virus either. What I have decided to do is make the right and responsible lifestyle choices so I am not mixing with groups of people and doing high risk activities, that way if I had to go shopping not wearing a mask as medically exempt, I can be confident I have not created more additional risks to people.
The main issue is that people aren't very understanding of hidden disabilities on the whole. I have read the nasty comments about disabled people staying at home. The other day I was verbally confronted by an angry cafe worker telling me I had to leave the premises as I wasn't wearing a mask whilst his was under his chin, as he walked towwards me violating the 2m distance rule. There was no signage about mask wearing. I haven't the energy to deal with such idiots who think we can mindread their new rules of how to deal with a self-serve fridge of soft drinks without any notices. Its put me off entering a place where the rules aren't clear. Heck, its made me feel very uncomfortable for not wearing a mask for the risk of people having a go at me.
Frankly, that cafe worker was an idiot. He couldn't see the ridiculous double standard that was literally under his nose.
The main thing I think for someone who cannot always be a mask is to be responsible about it. Keep myself out of high risk germ spreading scenarios, wash hands a lot and purposeful testing so that I never am out and about when unwell.
